Thoughts as We Go Into a Second Lockdown (& Reflections on the First One)

I didn’t comment about the first time we went into lockdown. Quite frankly, I didn’t have the time as I was trying desperately to keep my sanity in tact. As many self-employed creatives, I have had a very hard time. Having had all my work dry up, I had to find new opportunities and ways to make ends meet. I would not be here now, able to go into a second lockdown, had it not been for the kindness and generosity of many people - family and friends who are mostly also creatives - supporting me, offering me small projects to work on which would bring in much needed money, and just being a patient and listening ear as I tried not to fall into the dark abyss and give up completely.

Yes, I’m one of the ones who has fallen through the financial aid cracks - I had a bad year financially last year (mostly due to being off for so long recovering from surgery) and so did not qualify for SEISS in any mean, shape or form. I also didn’t qualify for UC or other offerings due to one reason or another. Like many others, I felt abandoned by the very government which is supposed to help, support, and guide us. So, I have had to find other ways to pay my bills (because sadly, I didn’t get many breaks in that direction).

I was fortunate that my gym - Anytime Fitness - was able to support me virtually as I was still recovering from my surgery and only part-way through my physio before that was closed and the staff was redeployed elsewhere to cope with the crisis. Zoe, Josie, and Evie gave me encouragement and the mental strength to get through and I will be forever grateful to them.

I worked on some projects with other creatives: The Links by David Claridge in which I played a disgraced MP; The Quaranteen Queens , Lady Macbeth’s take on isolation challenge videos organised by Elaine Ward (in which I took a bubble bath); recorded several snippets from Shakespeare for his birthday celebrations (organised by Coral Dickinson); and I worked on three different stunt fight challenge videos (two specifically for stunt women - including one by Tina McKissick and one with Movieworks International).

I recorded a video on “What the Arts Mean to Me”, and on about what receiving money from the Equity Benevolent Fund meant to me during lockdown. I wrote and recorded a monologue which will form part of my future one-woman show, and also spent time writing poetry. I have been busy being creative, just not earning much of a living.

So how about now? The gyms will close, the “non-essential” shops will close, the world will get a bit more dark and dim as winter sets in. With no steady job on the horizon, and my inability to hibernate, this will be an even more difficult time that in the first lockdown. At least then we were heading into Spring and I could go out and train outdoors, watch the sunrise, be treated to a coffee by my wonderful friends. Now, these options do not exist.

I will do my best to continue to be creative - I have posted hundreds of sonnet readings by now (126 Shakespeare Sonnets and another 89 other sonnets from various periods). I will finish all of Shakespeare’s Sonnets by the end of November. I have been fortunate to be involved with the Wordsworth 250th Anniversary readings and my version of “Scorn Not the Sonnet” is now part of its history, for which I am honoured.

My brother suggested to me that I should open a fund-raising page (as many creatives now do) and possibly get some donations for my work. I took his advice and have been overwhelmed by how many lovely people are out there who take pleasure in listening to me recite poetry. You can find me here.

I have also been working on a special project for the last 5 months, which I will keep under wraps until it is finished, but it has been one of the things I have looked forward to working on each day and unites some of my favourite things. More in a future post.

Until then, I hope you are well, stay well, and share kindness with others.